Loud Silence

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We’ve all heard “life is a process” and “It is not about the destination, it is about the journey”. We know that we are not the same person from day to day and it is amazing to think that not one second of this life is repeated. Every moment is fleeting, every emotion, every thought, every word is one and alone. The intricacies of life are sometimes overwhelming to think about. The fact that no moment is guaranteed in this life is also a wakeup call.

In addition, each and every human is unique. I know we’ve heard it before, “you are uniquely made and there is no one like you”. We are universes in and of our selves. The microcosm as the formation of a human body… the macrocosm of the universe and the fact that we don’t know where it ends and is continually expanding… both the microcosm and macrocosm and everything in between of this experience we call life pose the question: what’s the meaning of all this?

This question used to terrify me. I lived in fear and I felt completely alone due to the subjectivity of experience, perception and life. Are we really alone? Each of us, are we meant to be born to simply die? These questions haunted me as I knew deep down inside of me that there had to be purpose and meaning to all of this…

I have had my own spiritual journey ever since I can remember. Seeking, exploring, reading and experiencing. I used to think that life was meant to be a mystery made by some absent creator somewhere beyond the universe. I wondered. As I continued my seeking I realized that I had been found. When I came to know that my Creator is actually present, near and palpable while constantly revealing His essence through His love for me and for all of us, it began to make sense.

I do not know it all. I do not claim to have all the answers but I am relieved that the solitary subjectivity of life is actually a figment of our imagination. Our Creator knows each and every one of us better than we know ourselves. Even knowing our deepest shortcomings, mistakes and faults, our God loves us as we are. Unconditionally. The divine speaks to us… if we simply become aware of it.

Yes, it is a constant process to become available and sensitive to God, especially when we pressure our selves and society pressures us to always be busy and achieve. It is a challenge to sit still in silence when there is such stimulus in our surroundings all the time. Not to mention the constant stimulus of our own thoughts, feelings and interactions with the world.

But if we just sit in silence…

What if we were to become more comfortable with silence and with asking the questions that everyone has buried in our deepest core: about meaning, purpose and death itself?

If we made time to think about the uneasy questions, if we accepted silence for the loudest voice of the divine… we would as a society see how united we are after all.

Not only does our God promise that we will never be alone while He reaches out for an intimate relationship with each of us, but we also have each other. We are all made to live on this earth and we are made to do more than simply coexist. We are meant, as humans with a yearning for more than what this life has to offer, to find that which fills the soul. We are made with eternity in our hearts which I think it is well worth the while to ask questions, accept silence and realize that the answers are here in this moment and the answers point to more. They point to less of self and less of our created personalities to more of the essence of where we all come from. They point to the common suffering in humanity and they point to the way in which our Creator speaks with eternal love.

I just returned from a silent retreat and all these thoughts flooded me as I reflected on my time there. I want to encourage each and every one of us to keep striving for silence… even fighting for it. Silence is how God speaks. Silence is our guide. Silence is where God, our Creator, waits for us.

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